"She speaks a foreign tongue! Her feathers are golden and smooth. She has no comb, and her feet wear water waders. No wattles, no clucking; we've never seen the like. But female and quite attractive.!
"There's no roosters in there, we looked. We can handle her and all her friends, too!"
Fat chance boys! She's a duck, and you're staying where you are. I'll get a replacement picture ASAP. This'll do for now.