Night Before Christmas--Art vs. the Rooster

'Twas the night before Christmas; no peace in the air.
The rooster is coming; Art waits in his lair.
The broomstick is hung, waiting there by the door,
While Art listens quietly, waiting to roar.

The clucking starts coming from under our feet,
Antonio's coming, to the rafters to sleep.
Why can't this rooster sleep over the porch?
He paints the things under him; Art's language will scorch.

Antonio the Rooster, last name Banty-deras,
Has found the best way the humans to harass.
He's painted the trash cans and Art's very own truck,
My husband says words that rhyme the sound  "Cluck."

Last season the rooster spent a night in the rafters,
He painted the washer and dryer, and for afters,
He painted the workbench, the sink and the stove,
The porch is off limits, no rafters can he rove.

Roosters don' t come encased in Depends.
Art's waiting to ensure this activity ends.
There's flapping and clucking, as the bird lands on deck.
He leaps to the rafters and settles to rest.

Art bolts from the door, brandishes the broom
While 'Tonio freaks and decends from the gloom.
He's left a deposit, but Art doesn't care.
The deposit has missed Art's shiny white hair.

The first lap's accompanied by the pounding of broom,
And the screech of the rooster as they both lap the room.
Art's shouting quite strongly as they start the next round
Till the rooster leaps shrieking from the porch to the ground.

"You idiot rooster! You'd just cover a cracker!"
While inside the house I explode in loud laughter.
"Go sleep in your tree, you're too stringy to eat!"
Art did exclaim as Antonio beat feet.

The banty kept shrieking as he sped out of sight.
Clucking and ranting from his tree in the heights.
Husband returned with a smile and the broom,
He'd saved our porch from "excremental doom."

As Antonio clamors outrage, a pain to the ear.
We wish you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Screen Porches for Plants

Frustrated to tears over the last grasshopper depredations on my newly transplanted fall garden, Art came to the rescue. He took some rabbit cage wire, clipped it into a cylinder, cut some screen, and turned the parts over to me for sewing. I whip stitched the screen onto the "sides" and top, and stitched the bottom edge around the cylinder.

Pushed into the soil around the plants, it's a hopper-proof covering that lets sunshine, air, and water through for the plants. It will hold up sheets when the weather gets cold, so the plants aren't crushed when they are covered on freezing nights.

I love this idea! The screen porches look tidy and keep those wretched grasshoppers out. This is a project that will continue as we cover various gardens to protect those lucious, tender plants.

A Man and His Cat ( Post Gout Attack)

You  may sing songs of a man and his dog,

 Companions in work and in play.

But consider a tale of a man and his cat

Together for hours each day.

The man is book-writing, his cat's in the way.

 She's hungry for notice, just won't let him be. 

 Fluff-Ums needs petting and now would be best. 

"Pet Fluffs, Sir, and I might just cease."

"Fluff-Ums, I'm busy, I'm writing," he grumps.

"I'll pet you when this chapter ends."

"Now," she says, " Now, I simply can't wait!

I thought you and I were best friends"

Fluff-ums attaches herself to his shirt.

A wet spot appears on his chest.

She's nursing for comfort, and smacking aloud,

When kitty needs solace, this man is the best.

They dream of a time when Fluff was quite small,

 An orphan who needed his care.

When life gets too hard, and the stress is too much,

Fluff knows that her man will be there.

If her man is dead tired, is hurt, or not well,

She's busily kneading his chest,

Repaying his kindnesses present and past.

  She's purring him better, then best.