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Friday, December 24, 2010

Night Before Christmas--Art vs. the Rooster

'Twas the night before Christmas; no peace in the air.
The rooster is coming; Art waits in his lair.
The broomstick is hung, waiting there by the door,
While Art listens quietly, waiting to roar.

The clucking starts coming from under our feet,
Antonio's coming, to the rafters to sleep.
Why can't this rooster sleep over the porch?
He paints the things under him; Art's language will scorch.

Antonio the Rooster, last name Banty-deras,
Has found the best way the humans to harass.
He's painted the trash cans and Art's very own truck,
My husband says words that rhyme the sound  "Cluck."

Last season the rooster spent a night in the rafters,
He painted the washer and dryer, and for afters,
He painted the workbench, the sink and the stove,
The porch is off limits, no rafters can he rove.

Roosters don' t come encased in Depends.
Art's waiting to ensure this activity ends.
There's flapping and clucking, as the bird lands on deck.
He leaps to the rafters and settles to rest.

Art bolts from the door, brandishes the broom
While 'Tonio freaks and decends from the gloom.
He's left a deposit, but Art doesn't care.
The deposit has missed Art's shiny white hair.

The first lap's accompanied by the pounding of broom,
And the screech of the rooster as they both lap the room.
Art's shouting quite strongly as they start the next round
Till the rooster leaps shrieking from the porch to the ground.

"You idiot rooster! You'd just cover a cracker!"
While inside the house I explode in loud laughter.
"Go sleep in your tree, you're too stringy to eat!"
Art did exclaim as Antonio beat feet.

The banty kept shrieking as he sped out of sight.
Clucking and ranting from his tree in the heights.
Husband returned with a smile and the broom,
He'd saved our porch from "excremental doom."

As Antonio clamors outrage, a pain to the ear.
We wish you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year


  1. For a rooster that has survived so long as a free ranger, he is a very slow learner.